F-weeks (weeks 11-12)

Fuck.
Forgot.
Fail.
Fuck.

Four Fs for F-weeks.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

F-weeks (weeks 11-12)

Fuck.
Forgot.
Fail.
Fuck.

Four Fs for F-weeks.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

F-weeks (weeks 11-12)

Fuck.
Forgot.
Fail.
Fuck.

Four Fs for F-weeks.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

E Words...for Eternity

E is for Epitaph

Today, I decided to read some epitaphs in honor of E-weeks. Epitaphs are often concise evaluations of a person's life found on gravestones or plaques for the cremated, written by the deceased, those who knew him/her, or whoever was doing the carving. Similar to last words, they've since fallen out of fashion and are rarely recorded or remembered. Popularly, the famous and influential receive engraved epitaphs while the common and inconsequential have simply dates and names and perhaps a cross, presumably because it was expensive to etch additional words into stone and people really only want to know how old you were when you died anyway, so they can say things like 'aah, so sad, a life cut short' or 'just before his 33rd birthday, a shame'. What's a real shame is that the unknown don't get epitaphs and explanations on their headstones. I know who Benjamin Franklin is, I don't need an explanation of his life, but that man over there, who is he, and why is he buried next to his daughter and not his wife? Either way, I think all headstones should feature epitaphs and explanations of a person's life, or at the very least their death. Sometimes people die in more interesting ways than they lived. It would increase cemetery visitation exponentially.

Below are Eleven Epitaphs I enjoy. I'm going to work on writing my own now. I can't pass up an opportunity to say something that will be set in stone. It surprises me that so many people do. You have your whole life to think about it and you come up with nothing, now that's embarrassing.

"If you live life right death is a joke as far as fear is concerned" - Will Rogers (himself)

"Don't Try" - Charles Bukowski (by himself)

"O friends, don't cry - it's just unused sleep." - Walter Chiari (by himself)

"Here lies the body of Richard Hind,Who was neither ingenious, sober, nor kind." - Richard Hind

"He lies here, somewhere." - Werner Heisenberg (unknown) of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Look it up.

"Excuse My Dust." - Dorothy Parker (by herself)

"The Only Proof He Needed for the Existence of God was Music." - Kurt Vonnegut (himself)

Royal O'Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001) Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship - Royal Tenenbaum (At his suggestion)

Here lies the body of

a girl who died,

Nobody mourned and

nobody cried.

How she lived and

how she fared,

Nobody knew and

nobody cared.

- Gussie (an orphan)

"What is it like after you are dead? Like it was before you were born and for just as long."
- Eugene Leighton Lawler

"Sh-h-h" - Thomas O. Murphy

E Art

E is for esthetics.

Here's an image of a letter E created by a set designer Nicola Yeoman and photographer Dan Tobin Smith. It looks a lot like the cover of Jay-z's Blueprint 3 (below). I don't know if there's any inspiration involved and I'm not calling thief on a man who's got a million ways to get it, but the resemblance is there. By the way, Blueprint 3 is an excellent album that I shouldn't be listening to these weeks, but I can't escape it. Empire State of Mind starts with E...that's good enough, right? No? Jay-Zeee has an e sound, how about that?

E-weeks (Weeks 9-10)

E is for eeeeeee.

It's E-weeks, everybody. Ds proved to be more daunting causing a dip into depression and a dearth of discussion and displays. Es should be more Exciting; they have to be, the letter requires it. Here's a bit about Es.
E is the second vowel for the alphabet experiment experience.
The Upper and lowercase versions of E look a bit different.
Upper: E
lower: e
The Uppercase one is clearly the more rigid of the two with all of those right angles, but you can see how the little one came from the big one. The family resemblance is eerie.
Eerie is a good word to showcase the letter e as it has three.
Three also has some ees, 2. Two has no ees, but one has 1, as does zero, and none. E is easily the most popular letter among the numbers, with great representation by those teens.
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty...Thirty-Three Es!
To show numbers' appreciation of es involvement, they deemed it a mathematical constant. You can find him showing up around exponential functions.
You've probably also seen the equation E=mc² and have no idea what it means.
E is also a musical note.
E even has its own television station, which I thought was a little excessive. How much time can you really spend on E? I'd say about 2 weeks is Enough.
That must be why the academic grading system chose to overlook E as a viable mark indicating a child's aptitude, instead moving on to F. I, on the other hand, will not be excluding E.

Evidently, E gets around, so hopefully Es will be easier than Ds.

D Appetizer

D is for date.

Since I didn't get asked out on a real date at all during D weeks so I decided to make my own dates. Well, not actually make them because I didn't grow them but I did prepare them, which is a process. De-pitting dates is not an activity I would recommend doing on an actual date, just to the fruit. Unlike a social date, or a calendar date, dates are decidedly delicious. As the old saying goes, dates are great, but I'd rather eat. If you're not familiar with dates, there are some picture to the right. They look like large raisins that are slightly less shriveled. If you want to know more about dates, look it up. I'm not going to bother educating you. If you want to know more about the other kind of dates, you're out of luck, because I too am clueless. I hear they have websites where you can get dates for free though, so look into that.

I prepared blue cheese-stuffed, bacon-wrapped dates for D-weeks D appetizer because I couldn't think of any other D foods, despite how deep I delved. I made a lemon-dill sauce and put it on some fish the other night but it was nothing to photograph, and there was a lack of Ds. Okay, I'm just lazy. There's also a lack of Ds in this recipe, but there's a couple of past-tense verbs ending in Ds.


Blue Cheese-Stuffed, Bacon-Wrapped Dates: A -
Cheese-stuffed dates are not an original idea. Restaurants do it often with all sorts of different cheese. I chose blue because it's one of my favorites and it manages to retain some integrity even when heated and baked, but still melts a bit. The nice part about dates being a pitted fruit is that, once you remove the pit, they are primed for stuffing because there's a hole where the pit once was, kind of like how there's a hole where your heart used to be after you were broken up with after, what you thought were, 5 delightful dates with a dashing gentleman, dapper too. I wrapped them in apple-smoked bacon and held them together with toothpicks. After baking for about 20 minutes in a 375 degree oven the dates were ready to plate. The bacon seals together with the magical powers of bacon fat so the toothpicks can be removed and deliciousness enjoyed without stabbing and dying during your dinner. No one died during the preparation or consumption of this dish.


Ingredients purchased at my local neighbourhood grocery outpost Trader Joe's

Dress a Day - Day 5

D is for duster.

Although, I'm not wearing a duster and just a dress. The sweater is a poor excuse for a duster as it isn't protecting the dress whatsoever from dust particles dropping on it. Dusting in a dress is a practice that should be reintroduced into common society. I'm doing my part.

Dress a Day - Day 4

D is for dressed.

Today's dress is monochromatic in design, with an additional D of Drambuie, which I proceeded to drink and drink. My Dedication to Ds is Dangerous. Also featured: some dreadful carpeting.

Dress a Day - Day 3

D is for Dots.

Dozens of dozens of dots decorate today's dress, in some of the most desirable colors - brown, yellow, orange and fuchsia. It's pretty easy to play dot-to-dot on it thought as the dots are already touching. I guess I could have worn this during Cs if you choose to call them circles. I do not. Also, the dress has pockets, a definite plus on any dress and an unofficial criteria of mine when dress shopping (Note: Day Two's Dress has pockets too). It appears to have a long sleeve shirt underneath it but I assure you that is part of the dress. It is one piece. The tights are separate though. And now for the extra D! In my hand sits a small dinosaur. He walks when you wind him up but he doesn't roar so he makes a great pet.

Dress a Day - Day 2

D is for Dichromatic.

Today's dress is dichromatic, consisting of two colors - brown and blue. It would have been suitable for B-weeks at is has buttons too. The added D for this day is a Dictionary. It's blue too. I look quite dapper if I do say so myself, and I do. My boss thought I was too dressed up and in classic-cheesy-joke-telling boss fashion that manages to be so unfashionable he joked, 'What? Got a job interview?' To which I replied, 'No.' He then proceeded to explain to me that it was a joke and that's what people used to say when a person came more dressed up then usual to work. I left to go to lunch, unamused.